heavenly spirits
filling earth with divine love
that intoxicates
heavenly spirits
filling earth with divine love
that intoxicates
real love
feels unreal
otherworldly
this powerful energy that
ignites
your soul
on fire
but it’s
like a butterfly
going from flower to flower
like a bumble bee
gathering nectar
making honey
that will last
forever
earthly love is not
anything but a bunch of
lies
humans are lower
than animals
how do I know this
i’ve waited all my life
i wasted all my life
with magical thinking
pulled it out of my hat a few times
such an amazing trick
earthly love
the great trickster
how could it be any
other way
dust to dust
the only love that’s real
is out of this world
not of this earth
swirl
my finger
in a glass of vodka
when your heart is pure
you are ignorant of dirt
when your heart breaks
the dirt gets in
and you adapt
to survive
strong as a ox
you plow through
then you realize
your done plowing
and find peace
in letting go
everything has been
nothing but
disappointment
nothing here
to see
all the beauty
all the love
all the ugly
all the hate
words
concepts
perception
equanimity
truth
lies
I was trying to figure out different logos for my jewelry store on Etsy…. It was called NAKED NAGA…..
This is just one design I made of MANY !
I wasn’t selling anything…. It disheartened me… so I took my store down and gave it all away …….
I gave up too soon…. I know
I know nothing………..
I’m know NOTHING about how to make money…. Except for being a good slave to someone…….
But to promote yourself is almost impossible without spending TONS of money on advertising……competition is ferocious in jewelry making & art…..
Maybe I’ll be rich when I’m dead ……
No……don’t say that !!!!!
I made a ton of unique RAKHI…. Bracelets you give to your brother /sister a Indian tradition to honor your sibling & bless them
https://www.crresearch.com/blog/tying-rakhis-how-indian-siblings-express-love-protection/
I gave them all to my Indian lady friend…and she gave them to someone to give to people in India…. So they made it all the way to India & people are wearing them there !!!!
Myrrh with natural carnelian, Baltic Amber & crystals….I love the smell of myrrh…. The beads give off a light scent from wearing because of your body heat….
💗💗💗
Baltic Amber with Swarovski Crystals 💗
she thought she was a butterfly
they thought she was a stick of butter
so she fluttered away
into the sea
of ghee
I painted this 8 years ago
snowflakes falling
like heavenly milk
from heavenly breasts
sitting here
not knowing what will come next from
this mind
life is so strange
i live alone
but i am not lonely
i haven’t been this happy for a long time
i have been in love many times
where did it lead me
only anguish and pain it gave me
after all the pleasure was gone
what good is this romantic love
it’s only a fleeting experience
that changes
like everything else
ha
love was all that mattered to me
i didn’t ask for much
only to find true love
and i thought i did once
but where is it now
so here i am
alone
by myself
my true love
now i am alone
that’s the way it’s always been
i see clearly now
always looking for love
never knowing where to look
it was everywhere
feeling so alone
because everything is me
happy with myself
all the sweet honey
every jasmine flower
every piece of dirt
i remember our love
as if it was now
never wanting the moments to end
so deep so pure
like being in heaven
so deep so pure
the endless end
so deep so pure
the blue azure
so deep
so pure
the blue azure
so deep
so pure
so deep
so pure
so deep
so pure
blue azure
like a bumblebee
going from flower to flower
the queen says buzz off
my life is so ziggy
i smoke cigarettes and take vitamins
i drink beer and kombucha
i hate sex and fuck anyways
i dream and do nothing
i mess the house all day long then clean it up
i love and i hate
i live while i die
i’m creative and unproductive
i eat healthy and junk
i love classic and funk
i’m rich then i’m poor
i’m interesting and a bore
the sun is shining
little sparrows singing too
we are still alive
we have the power
spread it across the whole earth
your love is divine
don’t worry baby
everything will be just fine
nothing lasts forever
until the end of time
eleven eleven
will i go to heaven
it will be like going on a blind date
i hope i can keep an open mind
i hope my journey will be kind
lifes last adventure
brings endless
possibilities
sitting here
after watching a French horror
movie
my feet freezing
my body molded to the soft warm
leather
my love overflows
like zillions of fish swishing since the beginning of timelessness….
trillions and trillions of butterflies with patterns like a Persian rug….
millions and zillions of intoxicating flowers bursting from every corner of the universe
freshwater rivers that are never ending
oceans that heal and thrive with life
fresh air to breathe for every cell that ever lived
my wealth is abundantly overflowing
all of life is rich with abundance
all of life is rich with vitality and life
all of life is alive and exhilerating
this is me
this is you
this is us
nothing else exists
only happiness
only health
only truth
vibrating eternally
endlessly
forever
away from me
leaving me
leaving me in misery
little did I realize
it wasn’t love
because love is kind
it would never hurt me
or desert me
so you took your love away
but mine remained
inside of me
and dwells in my heart
and dwells in my heart
dwells in my heart
if i leave you
i can’t see that my life will be any better
i am broke and broken
and i can’t take anymore pain
if i leave you
i will just be trading one pain for another
from being a prisoner inside this house
to a prisoner out there
always someone watching
always someone controlling
always someone waiting
there is no freedom in samsara
the freedom you seek is only
when you die
this place is a joke
freedom is a joke
all i have to look forward to is just
more stress
more survival stress
can’t sleep there stress
can’t sleep here stress
can’t do that stress
can’t do this stress
if i leave you i will be gone
but you will follow me
you will haunt me
you will continue to do shit behind my back
because you are free
you never let anything get in your way
you do whatever you want to do.
in secret
your heart is broken ……
take that gold that flowed out
and put it back together
now it’s exquisitely
beautiful
I wanted to sleep
But here I am
here we are
here are we
Here is us
This is it
Woo woo woo
coo coo ka choo
boom bad da boom
All is this
All is good
All is bad
All is everything
Good & bad
Is that sad ?
Are you mad ?
It is & it isn’t
What is mad when your glad
I wish I was sleeping
But I am
But I am
Awake
like a gypsy, my mind wanders…. stuck in ruts for most of my life……..
hating discipline, my mind has wandered like a wild horse…. unable to tame….
wearing out now, searching for peace ….a release…..a transformation….
like a butterfly…..dancing in the wind…..
drunk on wildflowers
until the end………
(a work in progress)
you….so lush and green
some day my body
will become you
the mother
the earth
the bitch
oh
i’m that already
here i am
you
in disguise
sitting here
mesmerized
fuck you life my ass
i am that
i speak about
i get confused
when i have a disruption
my mind in defuse
thinks like corruption
but when you are down
so low
buried in dirt
your mind explodes
cause it’s not ready to
spurt
i think it’s a sign
that I’m not ready to go yet
gotta keep pushin
until i do it
whatever it is
i was meant to do
keep making mistakes
till i am blue
fucking flys
they get inside my house
and life
i used to feel sorry
for them
and gently let them
out
now i kill them
my heart is breaking
so much love I had
for life
now realizing
it’s almost over
and i haven’t accomplished
anything
i am nobody
nobody
wanted
a reject
might as well
have been a junkie
the world
looks at me
like i am junk
your irritation
inside my soft skin
became a pearl
now i have a pearl necklace
10,000 miles long
dragging behind me
as i walk naked
into the sunset
zoon i will be leave
floating away like a leaf
to negative ions
all dressed up
like a mango tree
vagina full
of fish in the sea
eyes dripping black
rainbow
glitter
enticing you
into
her litter
her juicy fruit
to blow your mind
the howling wind
her behind
she gave you what
you came here for
sucked you dry
like
you did
her
such illusions
we live for
this life
this whore
we always
want more
her sunset lips
palm swaying hips
attract your attention
you are whipped
you pull over
in her
dimension
little do you know
her intension
all she wants is
your
submission
her tits are fake
but you don’t care
your mind is in your underwear
full of disease
she aims to please
all her tricks
up her sleeve
she walks the street
for all the horny
that fall for
her
and her
baloney
the world is lovely
and sometimes it looks like hell
heaven and hell smell
and I’m so sick of it all
everything wonderful
and beautiful
turns black
not beautiful black
like a stallion
or African woman skin
but black like putrid death
we try so hard
to have good lives
while the innocent
are being raped
fuck you god
who needs a god
that can allow
babies to be
raped
who needs poetry
who needs art
who needs to have a nice life
life stops
beauty stops
goodness stops
when these mother fuckers
use a innocent life
for their perverse pleasure
fuck god for allowing such horrors to exist
fuck god and his creation
that only winds up
burnt to ashes anyways
the only peace is to not
exist
this heavenly place
is hell
crystal turquoise light
pink lotus blossom clouds
liquid lace waves
rippling
green grassy ferns in forests and sun scented sweet honey wildflowers
reflections flickering
so deeply immersed
in the depths of the sea
this expanse of sky
deep deep deep
deeply
supernatural
eternal
eternal
eternal
eternal
echos
of a
conceptual perception
no
butterfly
would ever
need to
know
but it wasn’t love
love doesn’t hypnotize
or fantasize
i was traumatized by my expectations
i thought it was love
what imagination
mother nature only cares about creation
now i am old
a little exaggeration
finally gave up on love
in my maturation
i survived
although my heart in dislocation
because i imagined
it was real
imagined
it was real
imagined
it was real
imagined
it was real
imagined
it was real
imagined
it was real
imagined
it was real
imagined
mesmerized by love
it was real
i gave birth to love
when you were born on this earth
you are my pure love
my sweetheart son
born of two intertwined
in a passionate embrace
destined to become
destined to love
destined to expand
this perpetual energetic
lifeforce
that knows no bounds
a pure energy
that never dies
was never born
is everything
and nothing
AMEN
just a faint hearted
prayer
of my love
for you
my son
my sunshine
may every star in the
universe
hear
every blade of grass see
every drop of rain
feel love Devine
every flower
every tree
every mermaid
every sea
every honeycomb
every bee
this
so lovely
peaceful
and free
naked to be free
my soul longs to break free now
so tired of it
everything is tight
take it off
free me from everything that binds
break loose
unbounded
naked
swim free in the water
let the sun kiss your naked butt
let the fragrance of the ocean perfume
your hair
bathe in the pine scented forests
let your skin breathe
let your mind breathe
let your soul breathe
nature has no bounds
the universe is a naked goddess
clothed in a million jewels
smelling like spiced rum
drunk with her nakedness
free to flaunt with abandon
into the ocean of bliss
you’re not the same person
you were
when i met you
when i loved you
when you loved me
when we were
together
you are dead now
and i died too
with you
in me
hard to believe
our love died
love doesn’t die
like a fire fly
flickering flawless
from flames
falling
from flowery
fields
flowing
forever
fuck
it’s my karma
to have never been loved
by a man
to spend my life
to spend my life
to spend my life
away
spent my life away
on all the wrong men
for all the wrong reasons
while my heart
was pure
and alive with love
oblivious
that I was just
a fool
i never thought in a million years
you would be putting the last nail in my coffin
love is worse than cigarettes and alcohol
thank you for reminding me
i will be taking all my love letters to the desert
i will throw them in the fire one by one
then I will lay back and look up at the twinkling stars
my next destination
happy trails
the mind plays tricks
when you fall in love
you think it’s real
but it isn’t
the mind plays tricks
as you live your life
you think you are living
but you isn’t
the mind plays tricks
as you lie there dying
you think you are dying
but you isn’t
the mind is a trickster
with no remorse
the mind is a trickster
like a crazy horse
what we think we see
is just an illusion
keeps the mind
in total confusion
nothing to see
nothing to do
nowhere to go
singing the bluez
caramel salted smooth
romance like no other
my tongue finds pleasure
teeth penetrating
the luscious parting
of scented air
and chocolate
pair with
lips like wine
you
so fine
and rare
do i dare
darling
stuff more of you
in my mouth
as i sit in this house
alone with
my pleasures
my dainty
treasures
and
my wild horse
mind
i fell in love with you
but spent my whole life without you
and like a ghost
i am haunted by memories
a past that is dead
it doesn’t seem real
the last time i felt alive
i was with you
forced to go on
without your love
forced to go on
without your love
forced to go on
without you
amazing i still had love to give
amazing i had the will to live
amazing we are still in touch
amazing we lived our lives as such
amazing what little time we had
was never forgotten
never died
like a string of light still attached
to our hearts beating
in the night
nothing can destroy
love for real
i’ll see you again
in another life
i hope i become your
beloved wife
this strange existence
flowers falling from the sky
material and spiritual
nowhere to die
i get perplexed
from all the brainwashing
i’m disappointed
from material sloshing
i know what’s real
but i live in illusion
and then wonder why
all the confusion
feeling this unworldly love
amongst those that remain fixed
in the human realm
the unsatisfying existence of living with
them
it could be a utopia
so alien
i fell in love with
many things
inside
my mouth
stuffed
expanding
like the universe
you
keep me alive
then leave me
as my cold ass sits
alone
you travel
like a snake
to god knows where
but i always
find another
to replace you
to fill me
to leave me
my love for you
will last
until the end
funny
how
it all turns
to
shit
and blossoms
into
lotus
flowers
i close my eyes
and put you inside of me
my mouth comes alive
with heavenly pleasure
no cock can compare
to your treasure
with little blue balls
decorating
your white cream
you make me scream
with pleasure
unworldly beauty
voluptuous ruby cluster
alien design
why did you come here
why did you ever evolve
to bring us pleasure
your juice is devine
my lips wet with your wine
exquisitely i dine
like a queen so fine
till the end of time
your love is surreal
like a desert landscape
of juniper spicing up
the glittering sand
while rainbows drip
from
the
skys
womb
filled with
endless
suns
and
daughters
swirling
glittering
endlessly
amen
to life
you
incredible
lover
you
your love sustained me
the food of gods
but I knew
that moment in time with you
would some day end
but time does not really exist
and love is all there is
were you my soul mate
when we made love
it wasn’t earthly
my body vibrated all day
from the unworldly love
generated
when we walked amongst humans
our love touched them too
amazing what love can do
this hollowness i fill with comfort food
if i would just shut up and appreciate my present
moment in time
i am surrounded by luxury and opulence
my life is easy like sunday morning
yet i complain what i don’t have
like some stupid bitch
should i apologize for my poetry
not being uplifting
sorry
but my soul writes to relive the pain
someday when my life is filled with
love and light
you will feel my words shining
in your face
and see the other side of this moon
like the moon
i feel dead
closer to dying than living
i crave
the smell of pine trees in a forest
i crave
to see the black sky
with a zillion stars
i crave
the sound and scent of the ocean air
i crave
the smell of warm petunias in the summer sun
the leaves are falling
like lovers falling in love
someday they will part
wilted leaves dangling
as the sun and wind blow
them to oblivion
may all the snowflakes falling
purify this realm of desire
freeing all those that suffer
and bring peace
continuously
until the end
of time
sitting here drinking ice cold lemonade
looking outside the window
orange leaves glowing
i wonder how much time is left for me
amazing i made it this far
most of it was wishing i didn’t
then realizing…. i really don’t
and this… that does….is
unspeakable
I’m still trying to get a van
Trying to get away from this man
He done me wrong
And I can’t go on
I need to leave
And stay gone
the moon is full now
i am out of cigarettes
staring into space
into the light
praying for justice
praying for peace
into the night
fighting for justice
fighting for peace
evolve into the light
no need to fight
let the night be lit with stars
and moonlight
let silence fill the air
with love
may all wounds be healed
hear our prayers
hear our prayers
hear our prayers
tired of the suffering
it’s killing us
all
sitting here about to
unwrap
unzipping
your pack
then
my lips touch your skin
and i suck
you in
i quit
and start again
and again
again
my virgin lips
that never kiss
they only
suck
and blow
you’ve fucked me up
but i still go
sucking
like a hoe
i do you
and do you
do you
and do you
do you
and
do you
doe
why
do you
do you
do you
do you
do you
do you
always want
more
awakening from my sleep
a night of dreaming
to another dream…. awake
the rocks that rumble silently are mine
earth sounds i hear beat rolls across my room
i scratch the beat that’s dead created time
and weave into this solid mass time loom
rock is the photograph of times ruin
continuation clings like a disease
yet the living sleep inside a tomb
entertaining themselves with memories
winding antique clocks under christmas trees
ignorant of timeless and flawless days
writing diaries and painting the seas
chiseling emotions from time stained clays
and i pity us, if we too follow
these blind hypocrites in time they wallow
(1967)
it’s half past three
i had my pee
smoking a cigarette
for free
waiting for sleep to kick in
the cats still out
and i am in
my neck is sore
coughing from smoke
the world is dying
it’s not a joke
my hands are dry
from so much washing
i forgot to think of flossing
thank god i have
food to eat
and toilet paper
by my seat
the gyms are closed
work is slow
he’s home more often
nowhere to go
he drives me crazy
his sloppy ways
he doesn’t wash his
stuff always
i tell him he has to
take a bath
he thinks i am
a bitch for that
he scares me when
he starts yelling
i’m already looking
for a different
dwelling
it’s half past two
i’m still not tired
the crickets are chirping
the cat is pawing
my hand is numb
from holding the phone
i should just take my pills
so i can sleep
i think i’ll get up
and take a leak
then i’ll smoke a cigarette
and wait until
i can forget
as dreamtime takes me
on a trip
the cats meowing
to go outside
the pee is leaking from inside
i finely went
i feel much better
now i will post
my empty blather
my heart just jumped
when i saw your name
you sexy man that cooks
from Spain
the house is still
the salt lamp glowing
cat on my legs
crystals flowing
i hear the sound of crickets chirping
they’re not outside
but in my ears
lurking
one flick a day is all i can handle
i’m getting to be an expert fandal
so many flicks not worthy of watching
amazing how easy to get brainwashing
hollywoods job to entertain
is really to mush our little brain
easy it is to control the masses
when our eyes are glued
sitting on asses
quiet and peaceful
in this house
a bowl of popcorn
on my lap
cheesecake in the refrigerator too
it is so heavenly
with nothing
to do
my cat went outside
hunting for mice to bring me
as an offering
i open the door
stepping on the mouse that lay
on the altar floor
the mouse and it’s guts
bulging out for me to see
she really loves me
is this what the gods
expect to prove ourselves
sacrificial love
it’s the midnight hour
and i feel hot
the fireplace is roaring
but I’m not
bored to tears
nothing excites me
wish I was tired
but sleep dispites me
I don’t know what
to do with myself
surrounded by walls
inside this house
while my cat goes outside
to find a mouse
after a long
stiff
winter
time for new
beginnings
that feel
never-ending
again
and again
again
apple blossom
buds
blooming
in the warm
morning sunshine
a sweet gentle rain
thunder crashing
and a heavy
downpour
to cleanse
my mind
of icicles
dripping
like daggers
clothe me
in
a dress
of apple blossoms
and a sunshine
hat
breathe some life into me
and make me less fat
your love deep inside
my body dead like winter
you in ecstacy
letting go
after all these years
accumulating everything
to survive
in comfort
while dying
inside
now realizing
how freeing it is
to just let go
to get ready
for my next
show
where i will have less
but will still
try to be as comfortable
and beautiful
as i can
in my
Gypsy van
i let go of my job
i let go of my bills
but i still hang on to
my toliet
how i love it so
i do not want to let go
i just want to
go in luxury
sitting here enveloped
in this mess i made
looking for a cure for my body aches
my bath is waiting
so i can soak it up
living the life of leisure
writing poetry
so i can see
the mess i made
before i go
on to the next mess
until my messes are
cleaned up
and there’s nothing left to mess
I never know
what I’m gonna write
These words just come
Like they turned on the light
In darkness I am cool
No words are needed
Then they turn the damn light on
And something is kneaded
So I roll it around on my unfloured
Thing here
Sometimes it sticks or will bake a few days
Sometimes it burns or I’ll throw it away
Never do I know what’s next
Amazing I am never perplexed
I never did talk quite normal
I never did like talking formal
The world in my head is quite comfy
In chaos
I try to explain it but something is hiatus
my body heavy
like a mountain in love
the sweet smell of earth
my mothers voice
embedded in every cell
the buddha within
if you ignore her
she will find another way
she never gives up
learn how to listen
her voice is very subtle
until it’s not
i’m going to write a beautiful poem
so tired of samsaric suffering
this world is our mother
her jewels are rough and raw
her fruit is heavenly
her flowers are ecstasy
these words are simple
because there are no words
suitable to even begin
all the suffering on this earth
disappears in time
even time disappears
when you project your mind
off grid beyond the milky way
zooming out of earths atmosphere
faster than the speed of light
everything disappears
every phenomenal perception
what is left
pure peace
pure love
nirvana
when my love was pure
you came inside of me
but i didn’t know
it was you
your light
gave me buoyancy
but now
it’s slowly leaving me
deflated
like flat tires
on a truck
alone
i am
blissful
never sad
but sadness is in love with me
it lingers
like a cats tail
between my legs
caressing
me with it’s scent
it’s hell bent
to make me feel
real
so i can stroke
the soft tenderness
that lingers
at my feet
the sweet sadness
of love
never
leaves
me
alone
don’t worry i don’t want you anymore
i wasn’t good enough for you
all your expectations
cheating on love
like it was nothing
maybe you were smart
you couldn’t be fooled
by love
an emotional fart
that ripped
us apart
traps you in it’s clutches
deserts you when you give your heart
such fools we are
to believe in such a thing
i wasn’t good enough for you
only good for a screw
after you got all you wanted
you were through
i wasn’t good enough for you
you had better things to do
left me hanging
like my soul was dead
too many men in my bed
not one was ever good enough for me
they never came close
to what we had
isn’t it sad
oh man
I have gone over the edge
And I don’t care
like a dam bursting
my spirit flows
dulled by the control
matrix that wants my soul
my nirvana is leaking
like acid
you’ve fucked me up long enough
my head is messed
but my soul is cool
i know I’ve been a fool
but love is
coming to the rescue……
i had a very weird dream last night….all of a sudden…the earth was turned and churned…i looked out and i could see the acropolis down the street …but there was no street…all was huge upheavals of land and buildings…the earth had rearranged itself into a mass of contortions….mountains, cities, boulders of earth pushed up….nothing was the same…everything changed….in the blink of an eye….an overwhelming sense of disbelief…..chaos……i tried calling my mother to see if she was alive….many had died…..it was like a massive earthquake, unlike any before….the whole earth quaked…not just a part of it….it was all rearranged…instead of a normal house and street in front of you…there was a huge mountain, and boulders, the earth had changed and rearranged itself…..
My interpretation of this dream :
Sometimes when we have “bad dreams” or nightmares…it can mean or symbolize other than what it appears as….i sometimes have premonition dreams too….this dream happened shortly before i invested in some land ….the land was very remote and surround by mountains…completely different from my present surroundings….i would lay in bed thinking about what it would be like to live there…the rattle snakes, tarantulas, scorpions, bears, cougars, high crime in surrounding cities & state….i also daydream A LOT about living a nomad life, and if i should live out of a van, or get a truck & camper….all these thoughts and visions constantly rolling around my head….so i think this dream was a combination of the possible land ownership in a faraway place (premonition) ….and a deep desire to live a nomadic life….THIS WAS A PREMONITION DREAM ……a few weeks after this dream i was investigating land opportunities, in which i actually started the process of buying a remote 10 acre parcel of land in the high dessert……but after a few sleepless nights worrying about how i would survive living there….and of all the possible things that could happen, and what a hardship it would be to live without what i am accustomed to (toilet, running water, shower, electricity, medical care…..) I TALKED MYSELF OUT OF IT !
So right now i appreciate more what i have, a comfortable roof over my head, a warm fireplace on cold winter days, always food, water, toilet, shower, and nearby hospital if i get very ill…..at my age, i want to survive comfortably, not struggle harder, and put myself in unpredictable dangers, (more than i have to). But i know my thinking will change again, as it is winter now, and i’m in the survival hunker down mode…..when i get more energized (springtime) i will think i’m practically invincible, and will figure out how i can be a nomad again…..
But maybe this dream was a premonition of the world wide Corona Virus ?????
IDK.
6-3-20
OR maybe it was a premonition of the current turbulence caused by the cop that killed George Floyd ????
being in love…then it ends
when it ends….then it begins
when it begins…..then it ends
always wanting….never satisfied
never satisfied ….always wanting
pushing and pulling….filling and emptying
if you can stop wishing…you will never want
be like a rock….calm under stress
be like you’re dead…before you die
before you die….live life fully
relax relax…..work work work
work work work….till you’re a jerk…..
when you’re a jerk…..you need to be alone
i love being alone all the time….does that mean i’m a jerk ?
i laugh at myself…..i love laughing
i rarely cry anymore….only when i think of you
when i think of us…..it’s a crying shame
it’s a crying shame…this is such a game
we gotta figure out…what this is
when we think we know…then we don’t….
when we don’t know….we wanna know…
emotions like the oceans……………….
sitting here looking
in a mirror as i type this
wondering what’s next
my body breaking
down from abuse i never
thought it would happen
this soon i still think
i am young but my hands look
like i’m a hundred
i was such a fool
to think any of my dreams
would ever come true
but the dream of love
was my biggest dream of all
as it never ends
because i never stopped
thinking of you all these years
where did it begin
well i’m chucking all the bills
and giving away my frills
dreaming about the hills
but my body is breaking down
like a van with too many miles
so when i get it fixed
heading for the sticks
on route 66
listening to you play
is soothing to my soul
you are so beautiful
you gorgeous man
may the universe
bless you with
all that’s peaceful
blooming
with the scent
of rose
the bliss of relaxing
after hard work & stress
is soothing to the soul
a glass of wine
rich with divine
or fresh squeezed orange juice
even left over pizza
even day old coffee drunken
from a styrofoam cup
after going through hell
ordinary phenomena
is nirvana
i love wild horses
i love wild hair
i love wild flowers
in my hair
i love wild sky
windy and cool
i love wild hearts
free and fool
wild is my nature
wild is free
black is my color
deep like the sea
deep is my love
deep is my soul
deep is the sky
above and below
wild and deep
wild and deep
when you get to the edge
take the leap
indescribable
is the passionate beauty
of nature dying
death is just a word
it doesn’t really exist
ask the cherry tree
you like poetry that’s happy and gay
like watching a disney movie
with nothing to say
just be hypnotized by the mice as they play
cinderella stories not life-like decay
poetry that reeks of disaster
rips the mask off of your
pleasant white plaster
i can’t wait to get drunk again
and write about my pathetically
sad gut wrenching lack of love life
when i had nothing else to give
i gave it all away…like a whore….
i guess i was expecting love in return…
they must have thought there was
an endless supply…they must have thought
i was some kind of goddess whore…
funny….but my love never died…
even when you tried to bury it…
i hope this heart made of blood clots
and broken arrows will someday
flow again
so i don’t wind up here roaming
around….like a pathetic sad ghost
writing sad pathetic poetry…
i lost my marbles
when i was young
they were very old
with swirls of glitter
found in an old house attic
in a drawstring pouch
now searching the internet
for my beautiful marbles
going crazy
just what i needed
another thing to grasp at
marbles should be lost
i remember us
making love like dogs in heat
in abandoned buildings
then you abandoned me
and your love came crashing down
brick by brick by brick
i stood there buried
in the dark waiting for you
but you never came
rising from the dead
drinking my blood to survive
i gave birth alone
if i was younger
i would flirt with you all day
until sundown
but i am missing
a part of me that’s alive
killed by heartache
i don’t know how i even survive
this dead romantic
heart ripped out
replaced by a lotus flower
that grows in the dark
i am still alive
all the dead i have eaten
have given me life
i will write a poem
after i finish this beer
if i’m still alive
breathing in and out
my lips wet with this latte
staring at this screen
i gaze at my hand
thinking about some
beautiful flower
petal
that you would look at
and see the simple beauty
in the unelaborated
moment of time
stopping
breathless
a
tiny flower
petal
falling
from the eye of sky
like a ninja
palm trees fern and date
gold diamonds and emerald
sandalwood and myrrh
mother earth
simple in her youth
lush with bounty
and extravaganza
as she aged
into a fat ass bitch
jimi you make me
feel so divine with lime you
purple haze my mind
hanging by a thread
waiting for my wings to spread
living like i’m dead
he drives me crazy
everything he does
the emotional roller fucking ride
i can’t calm down
when i get obsessed
i ride this wild horse
like i’m possessed
i wanna run away
he won’t leave me alone
he thinks he loves me
but it’s only his bone
he fills me with rage
like an animal caged
some day i’ll be free i dream
while i stay
gut wrenching tears
working all my life for what
wishing i was dead
fuck all the bills
fuck all the frills
head for the hills
endless bliss blue sky
endless bliss stars twinkling
endless bliss blissing
no job togo to
no sound to hear
nothing to worry about
hum hum hum hum
ha ha ha ha
da da da da
nature is freedom
only man pays for his keep
as he rapes her
the natural state
is mans only escape
from this prison world
how do you get there
as you slave working til death
just disappear ?
wherever you go
you have to hide your freedom
or they will find you
i want to go to
this natural state of freedom
what price do i pay ?
It’s so sweet to dream
I will do this and that thing
My bed will be big
All the gut wrenching
Mind fucks this planet observes
Swimming in honey
What is this evil
Trying to prevent freedom
Always in control
I want to escape
From the land of law and order
This honeytrap life
when i was young
i didn’t know
i didn’t know
where i would go
i never made
any plans
i just trusted
invisible hands
now youth is gone
and looking back
at all the trust
i gave away
i ended up
here
upside down
all my love
spilled
to the ground
the ground is rich
with all my love
and all the diamonds
to be found
all the booze
i don’t care
drunk
on myself
in my despair
the memories
of us
so in love
turned to gin
again and again
when i think
of us
my body cries
without your love
my body dies
dead so long
without your love
dead so long
without your love
dead so long
without your love
dead so long
without your love
my heart
so sweet
like an angel
then
you
broke it
apart
our love
flowing out
like lava
hot
now turned
to stone
a
jagged
pot
every time i think of us
in love
i cry
fuck you love
you made me
die
i am a gypsy
enslaved by the matrix
dying to be free
my breath of spirit
my breathing of dragon fire
this is ecstasy
this blank space of light
and you waiting for something
this is all there is
in the moonlight full
i escape into the night
and howl my freedom
mother nature… the bitch of love
desire is her trick
she’ll make you think you need it now
that’s why you have a dick
you fall in love a million times
as much as you have sperm
all she wants is mass production
love is on her terms
MY LIFE IS RICH
AND IMA BITCH
GOT PLENTY TO EAT
MY CRIB IS NEAT
THE MAN THAT I’M WITH
I DO NOT TRUST
HE’S CHEATED GAZILLIONS
WITH ALL HIS LUST
MY LOVE IS DEAD
FUCKING IS BORING
IT’S WHAT I DREAD
HE LOVES WHORING
I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL CLOUD
FOR A BED
I’D GIVE IT ALL UP
FOR LOVE INSTEAD
i drink the nectar of roses
then i smoke a cig
i feel flashes of nirvana
then i cook a pig
i wanna be celibate
then i blow his mind
this the hard place
between a rock
*
i work my ass off
to pay my bills
i am not happy
so i buy more frills
all i ever wanted
was a good man to love
but all i ever got
was a leather
glove
*
my mind is tight now
but if i drink to make it loose
it will swirl into a paisley
exotic and hazy
and then i go crazy
and wanna get
outta here
where the
body
lies cold
and end
this
so
on and on i go
juggling life like a magician
keys in the ignition
engaged in activities
like i am sane
picking and choosing
what to play
in this game
afraid to let go
of my control
(this is insane)
stuck in samsara
suffering and karma
but
it would be so nice
just
to help ease your pain
India gold and perfume
Id rather sleep till noon
Give me my bed
I’d rather be dead
Than be a slave
In this grave
Of foo foo
leaving my cave soon
heavenly sleeping till noon
must put the chains on
fancy gold from india
and drag my ass
back to samsara
icing on the window
communicating
sweet words of nothing
like stars in the sky
appearing magically
disappearing silently
leaving me
breathlessly
not thinking
of what to say
drinking wine
music so intense
no pretence
the sadness
lingering
a cat in heat
calling out
for love
sipping wine
the world is so
divine…..
i want to escape
from this cage of illusion
of expanding bars
thinking where to go
only makes it more spacious
there’s nowhere to run
so what do you do
when you find yourself longing
to go far away
take a whiff of sandalwood
and bless your skin
with the bliss of bombay
Dancing slowly with you…
my dark darling death…
only heartache in this realm of desire…
yet we always return…
to the womb..
attracted by the scent of lust…..
when all desire is gone…
there will be no more suffering….
my naked body stretches
the coolness of space
that is endless
Seasons changing… spins my head
all these years living….like I’m dead
leaves falling like hair
my body cold
Snow…. like ashes…
forgetting… old
until remembered
again and again…
Channel #5 , Joy & Oud….
when we get to the bardo
there will be food !
sweet child of light
living in this dark dark world
how you have survived ….
blood like molten lava
heart made from the
nectar of flowers…..
some day you will shine
in the black silent sky
drinking tea from a bowl…
i sit here amazed….
wind blowing through the pine trees….
a screen door separating
the natural world from me…..
(i didn’t want to let the bugs in)
but i feel like a bug myself…
in this house of dust….
while the dirt outside
is clean and fresh….
(except for the tailpipes exhaust)
a juxtaposition
of my exhausting life….
all i have
is this heart
made from
heartache
my blood
drips
as
tears
blind me
my invisible
heart
beats
alone
who is this green queen you know….
i am queen of black
who longs for the king of hearts
now i know i’m not the one
for you know her more
what a fool i am
One sunflower not wilting
still holds his head up
the others look drunk
still thinking i’m a lover
and looking so hot
then realize
i’m not
suspended in a state of anxiety
this existence of swirling energy
i wonder what it feels like to be the sun
images and conceptions
this wild frenzy of life
take me away into deep space
deep silence
or
maybe i should just
meditate…
i quit
my shit is shit
so that is it
as light shimmers
across an ocean of love
my heart vibrates for you
like hot summer roses in bloom
you intoxicates me
with your scent of love
like thorns on a rose
love protects the beauty
inside the heart
one without heart
like a rose without scent
has no poetry
the color of life persists
in the universe
milarepa ate nettles
the goddess tara exudes
rays of compassion
one speck of love bursts into
a forest of trees
my heart captures your beauty
like a broken cup
mended with love
magnificent sky flower
you open my heart
and love grows inside me
on the beach
washed up sea shells
sky wide as
the suns melody
sand hot as
crab cakes
iced lemonade lips
kissed naked
by your side
jewels of sand
glittering
Amen
black moon
black sky
black hole
black eye
black swan
black horse
black dog
black hearse
a washed up sea shell
soothed by an ocean of tears
heart pounded into sand
fucked
a million times
by
someone who never
loved
her
what did she become
living with a devil-man
lust
was all he
knew
spent his money
on his
obsessions
wish she had listened
to her
intuitions
now she is
a
mermaid
living in the
sea
sleeping on a
bed of pearls
drinking lotus
tea
I am a dreamer
and I imagine it’s you
have I gone insane
he talks about love
is he thinking of me
or some beautiful
young thing
thirty years in hell
stripping away all my youth
true love is timeless
funny how we dream
self preservation
dancing in Bollywood
dreaming i was
choking
inside a
murky aquarium
i learned to
adapt
breathing
unworldly air
my mind relaxed
there must be some
naga blood
flowing through my
veins
i saw the ganges river
milky white
boulder’s of emeralds
rubies
topaz
glistening in the
light
did i cross the
river
over the triple
gem
or did i trip and
fall
fall
fall
fall
fall
fall
in
*
Don’t worry
i am kind
the kind that loves
loves to relax
all day
*
I’m not
beautiful
or young
maybe I’m
not the one
but I will hold you
in my arms
and laugh at all
your charms
love
can do it all
so don’t worry
baby
everything
will be
fine
fine
fine
♥
it’s
getting intense
all the mystery of
him
driving me
insane
i almost forgot
what it’s like to be
in love
i just remember
pain
whatever this is
i wanna see it through
wanna love
again
i’ve been dead
for so long
walking this earth
like a zombie-slave
digging my grave
to find love
is so rare
like a pearl
in the paw
of a bear
i gave up
thinking
it’s not real
just mother
natures
way
of
sealing the deal
if i ever fall
in love again
it better be real
oh, samsara…you make me feel
unreal…
loves magnetic force
vibrating
me off course
unworldly love
that
created
the universe….
the primal
essence
of your sweat
anointing
my body
in
heat
my
lips
swelling
with desire
melting like honey
on fire
only love
can
do
this
to me
otherwise
it will not be
may it erase
all the pain
for
you and me
are
you the one
sweet and juicy
are you the one
sensitive and smart
are you the one
kind and gentle
my heart is beating
i hear yours too
are you my prince
you deserve a princess
you are so sweet
and romantic
is it the heat
i feel your heat
is it you
i love your mind
is it me
you are a lover
it’s been so long
karma is weird
i don’t know
who i am
will i find
myself in
you
drinking coffee now
a million things left undone
sitting in chaos
crystal chandelier
above this table of things
like the twinkling stars
cream in my coffee
swirling like the milky way
to the event horizon
i am losing touch
always driving in my car
looking at nature
i see the beauty
it takes my breath away
soon i will be dead
wasting so much time
as if time did not exist
take me to Shambhala
i was once in love
i never dreamed it would end
story of my life
a caterpillar
in a soft cocoon
sleeping until noon
her wings spread
across the wide bed
happy to be alone
the snake slitherssssss
invading her privacy
eating her alive
but she will
survive
he
let a fly in
the fucking fly
the fucker let in
i wanted to kill him
and so i did
but the other fucker
is still alive
fucking around
like a dirty
fly
i
let the fly
into my life
why
i felt sorry
for him
my house feels
so dirty
when he’s here
when he’s gone
i burn sage
sweet raspberries
juicy mangos
the dough rolls
and folds
oceanic
squid spray
perfumed
bliss
licking
buttery
buns
the mystic dream
of love in the mist
like fog in a graveyard
where hungry ghosts roam
dreaming souless
heart ripped
remnants
of life remain
like a chicken
quivering headless
so
much in love
with love
my heart aches
so little time left
so much love
so much love so much love
so many loveless
so much pain
here i am
i want to
fall in love
to fall in love
to fall in love
to fall in love
to fall
in love
again
where are you
the one
i must fall in love with
what are you waiting for
i can’t stand it much
longer
i want to be in love
i want to be in love
i want to be in love
i want to be in love
i want to be in love i want to be in love
i want to be in tlove
want to be in love
i want to be in love
i want to be in love
i ewnat to neb in love
i want tone in love
i want tone in love
i want to be in love
i want to be in love
wan t o be in love
oi want to be in love
i want be in love
i want tot be in love inna t to be in tlove
i want to be in ove
i want to be involve i want to be inlove
i want be in tolove
i want to be in love i wanton be inlove
iwnant tone intolove
want to be in love
want to be lin love
i want to be in love
i want tone in love
i want tomb in love
i want tone in love
i want to be in love
i want to be involve
i want to be in love
i want to be in love
i want to be in love
i want tone in love
want tone in love
i want tone in love
i want to be innlove
i want to be in love
i want too be in love
i want tote in love
want to be involve i want to be in tone
i want to be involve iwqnt to bebnin love
i want tot be inmlove
i want to be in love
i wan t to be in love
want to be in lobe
i want to be in love
i want tot be in love i want o weber in love
i want to be in olive e
i want to be in love
i want to be in love
i want to be inmlove
i want to be in love i want to be in love
i want tone in love
i want to be innlov e
i want to be inlove
want to be in love
i want to be in love
i want to be in love
i want to be in love
i want ro be in tlove
i want to be in love
i want to be in love
i want to be in love i want too be in love i want to be in love i want to be in love
i want to be in love
i want to be in love
want tot be in love
want to be in love
i want tone in love
i want to be in love
love to be inmlove
i want to be in love
i want to be inlove
i want to be inlove
imwant tone inlove
i want to be in love i want tone in love
iwqnt o the inlove
i want to be in love
want tomb inlove
i want to be inlove
i want tone in love
iwqnt to be inlove’
i wnnq be in love i wqnnnq be in love
i wanna be in love
i wqnnnq be in love
i wanna be involve
to be in love
not wanting
i can’t believe i’m still alive living without love
without passion
my sanity intact
i would
rather be insane with love
rather be insane
rather be insane
with love
than be sane
without
i never met anyone
with deep enough love
only deep inside the flesh
blind to my heart ache
Sometimes i feel
like i am
the only one real
forcing me to see
myself
as love to love me
all I wanted was
to know
the truth
of this life
why so many gate keepers
for a heart
that’s free
sucking and slurping lemon
they watched with distain
as the juice dripped down her chin
and her lips in pain
why did she eat this lemon ?
it wasn’t for fame
they thought she was deluded
or was she insane ?
she only wanted the truth
they wanted her head
so she let them have their way
like the men in her bed
ha ha ha
he made me laugh so hard
gave me easy things
to do
but the easy became
difficult
and the laughter
pain
now i sit here
free from
his laughter
and ramblings
drunk on
the junk
of my wild
horse
mind
pondering
memories
of
my guru
falling in love
always knew there was
a mystery to solve
always looking out there
never looking in here
at last we meet…
like the eclipse of the sun….
she thought she was a butterfly
they thought she was a stick of butter
so she fluttered away
into
the
sea
of
ghee
not wanting to harm
i scoop ant with a napkin
now he is limping
(2014)
fuschia petunias
and the taste of cardamom
orchids listening
(2014)
drinking tea all day
i can not get to sleep tonight
tomorrow is here
(2014)
i did a painting of a naked goddess
he wanted it so bad
he bought it
like all the hookers
(2017)
rosewater on face
milk with honey
this is love
drizzle the mid-east
with opium
drop flower bombs
rose petals and lotus blossoms
intoxicate
blow their minds
blast the air with
love
the only weapon
left unused
nothing else worked
nothing else exists
love is life
life is love
life is a lover
or is this the ramblings
of a crazy
zit
(2017)
i want to fall
in love again
like a junkie
looking for a fix
(2017)
the dry snow slides between the yellow sky
each flake streaming down a copper straw
the wind sifts and becomes a misty air
blowing against the copper straws
clanging
clanging
millions and zillions
copper straws hanging from
nowhere everywhere
stars pollinate the earth
liquid flowers flow
nothing left
but a smooth glass earth
and a blue smoke swirling
inside it
in the beginning
god created the heavens
and the earth
in the ending
god pulled his plug
(1967)
the rocks that rumble silently are mine
earth sounds i hear beat rolls across my room
i scratch the beat that’s dead created time
and weave into this solid mass time loom
rock is the photograph of times ruin
continuation clings like a disease
yet the living sleep inside a tomb
entertaining themselves with memories
winding antique clocks under christmas trees
ignorant of timeless and flawless days
writing diaries and painting the seas
chiseling emotions from time stained clays
and i pity us, if we too follow
these blind hypocrites in time they wallow
(1967)