AWAKE

I wanted to sleep

But here I am

here we are

here are we

Here is us

This is it

Woo woo woo

coo coo ka choo

boom bad da boom

All is this

All is good

All is bad

All is everything

Good & bad

Is that sad ?

Are you mad ?

It is & it isn’t

What is mad when your glad

I wish I was sleeping

But I am

But I am

Awake

THE END

like a gypsy, my mind wanders…. stuck in ruts for most of my life……..

hating discipline, my mind has wandered like a wild horse…. unable to tame….

wearing out now, searching for peace ….a release…..a transformation….

like a butterfly…..dancing in the wind…..

drunk on wildflowers

until the end………

LUSH

you….so lush and green

some day my body

will become you

the mother

the earth

the bitch

oh

i’m that already

here i am

you

in disguise

sitting here

mesmerized

HA

fuck you life my ass

i am that

i speak about

i get confused

when i have a disruption

my mind in defuse

thinks like corruption

but when you are down

so low

buried in dirt

your mind explodes

cause it’s not ready to

spurt

i think it’s a sign

that I’m not ready to go yet

gotta keep pushin

until i do it

whatever it is

i was meant to do

keep making mistakes

till i am blue

JUNK

my heart is breaking

so much love I had

for life

now realizing

it’s almost over

and i haven’t accomplished

anything

i am nobody

nobody

wanted

a reject

might as well

have been a junkie

the world

looks at me

like i am junk

SAMSARA

all dressed up

like a mango tree

vagina full

of fish in the sea

eyes dripping black

rainbow

glitter

enticing you

into

her litter

her juicy fruit

to blow your mind

the howling wind

her behind

she gave you what

you came here for

sucked you dry

like

you did

her

such illusions

we live for

this life

this whore

we always

want more

her sunset lips

palm swaying hips

attract your attention

you are whipped

you pull over

in her

dimension

little do you know

her intension

all she wants is

your

submission

her tits are fake

but you don’t care

your mind is in your underwear

full of disease

she aims to please

all her tricks

up her sleeve

she walks the street

for all the horny

that fall for

her

and her

baloney

HELL

the world is lovely

and sometimes it looks like hell

heaven and hell smell

and I’m so sick of it all

everything wonderful

and beautiful

turns black

not beautiful black

like a stallion

or African woman skin

but black like putrid death

we try so hard

to have good lives

while the innocent

are being raped

fuck you god

who needs a god

that can allow

babies to be

raped

who needs poetry

who needs art

who needs to have a nice life

life stops

beauty stops

goodness stops

when these mother fuckers

use a innocent life

for their perverse pleasure

fuck god for allowing such horrors to exist

fuck god and his creation

that only winds up

burnt to ashes anyways

the only peace is to not

exist

this heavenly place

is hell

THE OCEAN OF SPACE

crystal turquoise light

pink lotus blossom clouds

liquid lace waves

rippling

green grassy ferns in forests and sun scented sweet honey wildflowers

reflections flickering

so deeply immersed

in the depths of the sea

this expanse of sky

deep deep deep

deeply

supernatural

eternal

eternal

eternal

eternal

echos

of a

conceptual perception

no

butterfly

would ever

need to

know

TRAUMATIZED

mesmerized by love

but it wasn’t love

love doesn’t hypnotize

or fantasize

i was traumatized by my expectations

i thought it was love

what imagination

mother nature only cares about creation

now i am old

a little exaggeration

finally gave up on love

in my maturation

i survived

although my heart in dislocation

because i imagined

it was real

imagined

it was real

imagined

it was real

imagined

it was real

imagined

it was real

imagined

it was real

imagined

it was real

imagined

it was real

TO ALEX

i gave birth to love

when you were born on this earth

you are my pure love

my sweetheart son

born of two intertwined

in a passionate embrace

destined to become

destined to love

destined to expand

this perpetual energetic

lifeforce

that knows no bounds

a pure energy

that never dies

was never born

is everything

and nothing

AMEN

just a faint hearted

prayer

of my love

for you

my son

my sunshine

may every star in the

universe

hear

every blade of grass see

every drop of rain

feel love Devine

every flower

every tree

every mermaid

every sea

every honeycomb

every bee

this

so lovely

peaceful

and free

NAKED

naked to be free

my soul longs to break free now

so tired of it

everything is tight

take it off

free me from everything that binds

break loose

unbounded

naked

swim free in the water

let the sun kiss your naked butt

let the fragrance of the ocean perfume

your hair

bathe in the pine scented forests

let your skin breathe

let your mind breathe

let your soul breathe

nature has no bounds

the universe is a naked goddess

clothed in a million jewels

smelling like spiced rum

drunk with her nakedness

free to flaunt with abandon

into the ocean of bliss

SAN ANTONIO

you’re not the same person

you were

when i met you

when i loved you

when you loved me

when we were

together

you are dead now

and i died too

with you

in me

hard to believe

our love died

love doesn’t die

like a fire fly

flickering flawless

from flames

falling

from flowery

fields

flowing

forever

fuck

BECAUSE

it’s my karma

to have never been loved

by a man

to spend my life

to spend my life

to spend my life

away

spent my life away

on all the wrong men

for all the wrong reasons

while my heart

was pure

and alive with love

oblivious

that I was just

a fool

THE LAST

i never thought in a million years

you would be putting the last nail in my coffin


love is worse than cigarettes and alcohol
thank you for reminding me

i will be taking all my love letters to the desert

i will throw them in the fire one by one


then I will lay back and look up at the twinkling stars
my next destination

happy trails

THE BLUEZ

the mind plays tricks

when you fall in love

you think it’s real

but it isn’t

the mind plays tricks

as you live your life

you think you are living

but you isn’t

the mind plays tricks

as you lie there dying

you think you are dying

but you isn’t

the mind is a trickster

with no remorse

the mind is a trickster

like a crazy horse

what we think we see

is just an illusion

keeps the mind

in total confusion

nothing to see

nothing to do

nowhere to go

singing the bluez

CHOCOLATE

caramel salted smooth

romance like no other

my tongue finds pleasure

teeth penetrating

the luscious parting

of scented air

and chocolate

pair with

lips like wine

you

so fine

and rare

do i dare

darling

stuff more of you

in my mouth

as i sit in this house

alone with

my pleasures

my dainty

treasures

and

my wild horse

mind

BELOVED

i fell in love with you

but spent my whole life without you

and like a ghost

i am haunted by memories

a past that is dead

it doesn’t seem real

the last time i felt alive

i was with you

forced to go on

without your love

forced to go on

without your love

forced to go on

without you

amazing i still had love to give

amazing i had the will to live

amazing we are still in touch

amazing we lived our lives as such

amazing what little time we had

was never forgotten

never died

like a string of light still attached

to our hearts beating

in the night

nothing can destroy

love for real

i’ll see you again

in another life

i hope i become your

beloved wife

ALIEN

this strange existence

flowers falling from the sky

material and spiritual

nowhere to die

i get perplexed

from all the brainwashing

i’m disappointed

from material sloshing

i know what’s real

but i live in illusion

and then wonder why

all the confusion

feeling this unworldly love

amongst those that remain fixed

in the human realm

the unsatisfying existence of living with

them

it could be a utopia

so alien

OUROBOROS

i fell in love with

many things

inside

my mouth

stuffed

expanding

like the universe

you

keep me alive

then leave me

as my cold ass sits

alone

you travel

like a snake

to god knows where

but i always

find another

to replace you

to fill me

to leave me

my love for you

will last

until the end

funny

how

it all turns

to

shit

and blossoms

into

lotus

flowers

POMEGRANATE

unworldly beauty

voluptuous ruby cluster

alien design

why did you come here

why did you ever evolve

to bring us pleasure

your juice is devine

my lips wet with your wine

exquisitely i dine

like a queen so fine

till the end of time

SURREAL

your love is surreal

like a desert landscape

of juniper spicing up

the glittering sand

while rainbows drip

from

the

skys

womb

filled with

endless

suns

and

daughters

swirling

glittering

endlessly

amen

to life

you

incredible

lover

you

LOVE

your love sustained me

the food of gods

but I knew

that moment in time with you

would some day end

but time does not really exist

and love is all there is

were you my soul mate

when we made love

it wasn’t earthly

my body vibrated all day

from the unworldly love

generated

when we walked amongst humans

our love touched them too

amazing what love can do

HOLLOW (PART TWO)

this hollowness i fill with comfort food

if i would just shut up and appreciate my present

moment in time

i am surrounded by luxury and opulence

my life is easy like sunday morning

yet i complain what i don’t have

like some stupid bitch

should i apologize for my poetry

not being uplifting

sorry

but my soul writes to relive the pain

someday when my life is filled with

love and light

you will feel my words shining

in your face

and see the other side of this moon

HOLLOW

like the moon

i feel dead

closer to dying than living

i crave

the smell of pine trees in a forest

i crave

to see the black sky

with a zillion stars

i crave

the sound and scent of the ocean air

i crave

the smell of warm petunias in the summer sun

UNSPEAKABLE

sitting here drinking ice cold lemonade

looking outside the window

orange leaves glowing

i wonder how much time is left for me

amazing i made it this far

most of it was wishing i didn’t

then realizing…. i really don’t

and this… that does….is

unspeakable

LIGHT UP

 

into the light

 

praying for justice

praying for peace

 

into the night

 

fighting for justice

fighting for peace

 

evolve into the light

 

no need to fight

let the night be lit with stars

and moonlight

let silence fill the air

with love

may all wounds be healed

 

hear our prayers

hear our prayers

hear our prayers

 

tired of the suffering

it’s killing us

all

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

UN RAP juju

sitting here about to

unwrap

unzipping

your pack

then

my lips touch your skin

and i suck

you in

i quit

and start again

and again

again

my virgin lips

that never kiss

they only

suck

and blow

you’ve fucked me up

but i still go

sucking

like a hoe

i do you

and do you

do you

and do you

do you

and

do you

doe

why

do you

do you

do you

do you

do you

do you

always want

more

TIME

the rocks that rumble silently are mine

earth sounds i hear beat rolls across my room

i scratch the beat  that’s dead created time

and weave into this solid mass time loom

rock is the photograph of times ruin

continuation clings like a disease

yet the living sleep inside a tomb

entertaining themselves with memories

winding antique clocks under christmas trees

ignorant of timeless and flawless days

writing diaries and painting the seas

chiseling emotions from time stained clays

and i pity us, if we too follow

these blind hypocrites  in time they wallow

 

 

 

(1967)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4 AM BLUES

 

it’s half past three

i had my pee

smoking a cigarette

for free

 

waiting for sleep to kick in

the cats still out

and i am in

 

my neck is sore

coughing from smoke

the world is dying

it’s not a joke

 

my hands are dry

from so much washing

i forgot to think of flossing

 

thank god i have

food to eat

and toilet paper

by my seat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DWELLING

 

the gyms are closed

work is slow

he’s home more often

nowhere to go

he drives me crazy

his sloppy ways

he doesn’t wash his

stuff always

i tell him he has to

take a bath

he thinks i am

a bitch for that

he scares me when

he starts yelling

i’m already looking

for a different

dwelling

 

EMPTY BLATHER

 

 

it’s half past two

i’m still not tired

the crickets are chirping

the cat is pawing

my hand is numb

from holding the phone

i should just take my pills

so i can sleep

i think i’ll get up

and take a leak

then i’ll smoke a cigarette

and wait until

i can forget

as dreamtime takes me

on a trip

the cats meowing

to go outside

the pee is leaking from inside

i finely went

i feel much better

now i will post

my empty blather

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MUSHY

one flick a day is all i can handle

i’m getting to be an expert fandal

so many flicks not worthy of watching

amazing how easy to get brainwashing

hollywoods job to entertain

is really to mush our little brain

easy it is to control the masses

when our eyes are glued

sitting on asses

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DEAD LOVE

my cat went outside

hunting for mice to bring me

as an offering

 

i open the door

stepping on the mouse that lay

on the altar floor

 

the mouse and it’s guts

bulging out for me to see

she really loves me

 

is this what the gods

expect to prove ourselves

sacrificial love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CAT & MOUSE

 

 

it’s the midnight hour

and i feel hot

 

the fireplace is roaring

but I’m not

 

bored to tears

nothing excites me

 

wish I was tired

but sleep dispites me

 

I don’t know what

to do with myself

surrounded by walls

inside this house

 

 

while my cat goes outside

to find a mouse

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TALKING TO MYSELF

 

after a long

stiff

winter

 

time for new

beginnings

that feel

never-ending

again

and again

again

 

 

apple blossom

buds

blooming

in the warm

morning sunshine

 

a sweet gentle rain

 

 

thunder crashing

and a heavy

downpour

to cleanse

my mind

of icicles

dripping

like daggers

 

 

 

clothe me

in

a dress

of apple blossoms

and  a sunshine

hat

 

breathe some life into me

 

and make me less fat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

GYPSY VAN

letting go

 

after all these years

accumulating everything

to survive

in comfort

 

while dying

inside

 

now realizing

how freeing it is

to just let go

 

to get ready

for my next

show

 

where i will have less

 

but will still

try to be as comfortable

and beautiful

as i can

in my

Gypsy van

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MESSED UP

sitting here enveloped

in this mess i made

looking for a cure for my body aches

my bath is waiting

so i can soak  it up

living the life of leisure

writing poetry

so i can see

the mess i made

before i go

on to the next mess

until my messes are

cleaned up

and there’s nothing left to mess

HIATUS

I never know

what I’m gonna write

These words just come

Like they turned on the light

In darkness I am cool

No words are needed

Then they turn the damn light on

And something is kneaded

So I roll it around on my unfloured

Thing here

Sometimes it sticks or will bake a few days

Sometimes it burns or I’ll throw it away

Never do I know what’s next

Amazing I am never perplexed

I never did talk quite normal

I never did like talking formal

The world in my head is quite comfy

In chaos

I try to explain it but something is hiatus

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

INTUITION

 

my body heavy

like a mountain in love

the sweet smell of earth

 

my mothers voice

embedded in every cell

the buddha within

 

if you ignore her

she will find another way

she never gives up

 

learn how to listen

her voice is very subtle

until it’s not

 

 

 

 

HEAVY

when my love was pure

you came inside of me

but i didn’t know

it was you

your light

gave me buoyancy

but now

it’s slowly leaving me

deflated

like flat tires

on a truck

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ALONE

 

alone

 

i am

 

blissful

 

never sad

 

but sadness is in love with me

it lingers

like a cats tail

between my legs

 

caressing

me with it’s scent

 

it’s hell bent

 

to make me feel

real

 

so i can stroke

the soft tenderness

that lingers

at my feet

 

the sweet sadness

of love

 

never

leaves

 

me

 

alone

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SAD

 

 

don’t worry i don’t want you anymore

 

i wasn’t good enough for you

all your expectations

cheating on love

like it was nothing

 

maybe you were smart

you couldn’t be fooled

by love

an emotional fart

 

that ripped

us apart

 

traps you in it’s clutches

deserts you when you give your heart

 

such fools we are

to believe in  such a thing

 

i wasn’t good enough for you

only good for a screw

after you got all you wanted

you were through

 

i wasn’t good enough for you

you had better things to do

left me hanging

like my soul was dead

 

too many men in my bed

 

not one was ever good enough for me

 

 

they never came close

 

to what we had

 

 

isn’t  it  sad

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RESCUE

like a dam bursting

my spirit flows

dulled by the control

matrix that wants my soul

my nirvana is leaking

like acid

you’ve fucked me up long enough

my head is messed

but my soul is cool

i know I’ve been a fool

but love is

coming to the rescue……

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DREAM

i had a very weird dream last night….all of a sudden…the earth was turned and churned…i looked out and i could see the acropolis down the street …but there was no street…all was huge upheavals of land and buildings…the earth had rearranged itself into a mass of contortions….mountains, cities, boulders of earth pushed up….nothing was the same…everything changed….in the blink of an eye….an overwhelming sense of disbelief…..chaos……i tried calling my mother to see if she was alive….many had died…..it was like a massive earthquake, unlike any before….the whole earth  quaked…not just a part of it….it was all rearranged…instead of a normal house and street in front of you…there was a huge mountain, and boulders, the earth had changed and rearranged itself…..

 

My interpretation of this dream :

Sometimes when we have “bad dreams” or nightmares…it can mean or symbolize other than what it appears as….i sometimes have premonition dreams too….this dream happened shortly before i invested in some land ….the land was very remote and surround by mountains…completely different from my present surroundings….i would lay in bed thinking about what it would be like to live there…the rattle snakes, tarantulas, scorpions, bears, cougars, high crime in surrounding cities & state….i also daydream A LOT about living a nomad life, and if i should live out of a van, or get a truck & camper….all these thoughts and visions constantly rolling around my head….so i think this dream was a combination of the possible land ownership in a faraway place (premonition) ….and a deep desire to live a nomadic life….THIS WAS A PREMONITION DREAM ……a few weeks after this dream i was investigating land opportunities, in which i actually started the process of buying a remote 10 acre parcel of land in the high dessert……but after a few sleepless nights worrying about how i would survive living there….and of all the possible things that could happen, and what a hardship it would be to live without what i am accustomed to (toilet, running water, shower, electricity, medical care…..)  I TALKED MYSELF OUT OF IT !

So right now i appreciate more what i have, a comfortable roof over my head, a warm fireplace on cold winter days, always food, water, toilet, shower, and nearby hospital if i get very ill…..at my age, i want to survive comfortably, not struggle harder, and put myself in unpredictable dangers, (more than i have to).   But i know my thinking will change again, as it is winter now, and i’m in the survival hunker down mode…..when i get more energized (springtime) i will think i’m practically invincible, and will figure out how i can be a nomad again…..

 

But maybe this dream was a premonition of the world wide Corona Virus ?????

IDK.

 

6-3-20

OR maybe it was a premonition of the current turbulence caused by the cop that killed George Floyd ????

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EMOCEANS

being in love…then it ends

when it ends….then it begins

when it begins…..then it ends

always wanting….never satisfied

never satisfied ….always wanting

pushing and pulling….filling and emptying

if you can stop wishing…you will never want

be like a rock….calm under stress

be like you’re dead…before you die

before you die….live life fully

relax relax…..work work work

work work work….till you’re a jerk…..

when you’re a jerk…..you need to be alone

i love being alone all the time….does that mean i’m a jerk ?

i laugh at myself…..i love laughing

i rarely cry anymore….only when i think of you

when i think of us…..it’s a crying shame

it’s a crying shame…this is such a game

we gotta figure out…what this is

when we think we know…then we don’t….

when we don’t know….we wanna know…

emotions like the oceans……………….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FOOL

sitting here looking

in a mirror as i type this

wondering what’s next

my body breaking

down from abuse i never

thought it would happen

this soon i still think

i am young but my hands look

like i’m a hundred

i was such a fool

to think any of my dreams

would ever come true

but the dream of love

was my biggest dream of all

as it never ends

because i never stopped

thinking of you all these years

where did it begin

NIRVANA

the bliss of relaxing

after hard work & stress

is soothing to the soul

a glass of wine

rich with divine

or fresh squeezed orange juice

even left over pizza

even day old coffee drunken

from a styrofoam cup

after going through hell

ordinary phenomena

is nirvana

 

 

 

 

 

WILD & DEEP

i love wild horses

i love wild hair

i love wild flowers

in my hair

i love wild sky

windy and cool

i love wild hearts

free and fool

wild is my nature

wild is free

black is my color

deep like the sea

deep is my love

deep is my soul

deep is the sky

above and below

wild and deep

wild and deep

when you get to the edge

take the leap

GODDESS WHORE

i can’t wait to get drunk again

and write about my pathetically

sad gut wrenching lack of love life

when i had nothing else to give

i gave it all away…like a whore….

i guess i was expecting love in return…

they must have thought there was

an endless supply…they must have thought

i was some kind of goddess whore…

funny….but my love never died…

even when you tried to bury it…

i hope this heart made of blood clots

and broken arrows will someday

flow again

so i don’t wind up here roaming

around….like a pathetic sad ghost

writing sad pathetic poetry…

ALONE

i remember us

making love like dogs in heat

in abandoned buildings

then you abandoned me

and your love came crashing down

brick by brick by brick

i stood there buried

in the dark waiting for you

but you never came

rising from the dead

drinking my blood to survive

i gave birth alone

NINJA

i gaze at my hand

thinking about some

beautiful flower

petal

that you would look at

and see the simple beauty

in the unelaborated

moment of time

stopping

breathless

a

tiny flower

petal

falling

from the eye of sky

like a ninja

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OBSESSED

he drives me crazy

everything he does

the emotional roller fucking ride

i can’t calm down

when i get obsessed

i ride this wild horse

like i’m possessed

i wanna run away

he won’t leave me alone

he thinks he loves me

but it’s only his bone

he fills me with rage

like an animal caged

some day i’ll be free i dream

while i stay

DA DA

endless bliss blue sky

endless bliss stars twinkling

endless bliss blissing

 

no job togo to

no sound to hear

nothing to worry about

 

hum hum hum hum

ha ha ha ha

da da da da

THE NATURAL STATE

nature is freedom

only man pays for his keep

as he rapes her

 

the natural state

is mans only escape

from this prison world

 

how do you get there

as you slave working til death

just disappear ?

 

wherever you go

you have to hide your freedom

or they will find you

 

i want to go to

this natural state of freedom

what price do i pay ?

 

 

 

 

 

HONEY TRAP

It’s so sweet to dream

I will do this and that thing

My bed will be big

 

All the gut wrenching

Mind fucks this planet observes

Swimming in honey

 

What is this evil

Trying to prevent freedom

Always in control

 

I want to escape

From the land of law and order

This honeytrap life

DIAMONDS

when i was young

i didn’t know

i didn’t know

where i would go

i never made

any plans

i just trusted

invisible hands

now youth is gone

and looking back

at all the trust

i gave away

i ended up

here

upside down

all my love

spilled

to the ground

the ground is rich

with all my love

and all the diamonds

to be found

 

 

 

WITHOUT YOUR LOVE

 

all the booze

i don’t care

drunk

on myself

in my despair

 

the memories

of us

so in love

turned to gin

again and again

 

when i think

of us

my body cries

without your love

my body dies

dead so long

without your love

dead so long

without your love

 

dead so long

without your love

 

dead so long

without your love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RICH

MY LIFE IS RICH

AND IMA BITCH

GOT PLENTY TO EAT

MY CRIB IS NEAT

 THE MAN THAT I’M WITH

I DO NOT TRUST

HE’S CHEATED GAZILLIONS

WITH ALL HIS LUST

 MY LOVE IS DEAD

FUCKING IS BORING

IT’S WHAT I DREAD

HE LOVES WHORING

I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL CLOUD

FOR A BED

I’D GIVE IT ALL UP

FOR LOVE INSTEAD

 

ZIZZY ZONG

i drink the nectar of roses

then i smoke a cig

i feel flashes of nirvana

then i cook a pig

 i wanna be celibate

then i blow his mind

this the hard place

between a rock

*

i work my ass off

to pay my bills

i am not happy

so i  buy more frills

all i ever wanted

was a good man to love

but all i ever got

was a leather

glove

*

JUST BE

my mind is tight now

but if i drink to make it loose

it will swirl into a paisley

exotic and hazy

and then i go crazy

and wanna get

outta here

where the

body

lies cold

and end

this

so

on and on i go

juggling life like a magician

keys in the ignition

engaged in activities

like i am sane

picking and choosing

what to play

in this game

afraid to let go

of my control

(this is insane)

stuck in samsara

suffering and karma

but

it would be so nice

just

to help ease your pain

BOMBAY

i want to escape

from this cage of illusion

of expanding bars

 

thinking where to go

only makes it more spacious

there’s nowhere to run

 

so what do you do

when you find yourself longing

to go far away

 

take a whiff of sandalwood

and bless your skin

with the bliss of bombay

 

 

THE BARDO CAFE

Seasons changing… spins my head

all these years living….like I’m dead

leaves falling like hair

my body cold

Snow…. like ashes…

forgetting… old

until remembered

again and again…

Channel #5 ,  Joy & Oud….

when we get to the bardo

there will be food !

 

RELAX SLAVE

drinking tea from a bowl…

i sit here amazed….

wind blowing through the pine trees….

a screen door separating

the natural world from me…..

(i didn’t want to let the bugs in)

but i feel like a bug myself…

in this house of dust….

while the dirt outside

is clean and fresh….

(except for the  tailpipes exhaust)

a juxtaposition

of my exhausting life….

 

 

 

 

 

TOO DEEP

suspended in a state of anxiety

this existence of swirling energy

i wonder what it feels like to be the sun

images and conceptions

this wild frenzy of life

take me away into deep space

deep silence

or

maybe i should just

meditate…

RED VERSE

like  hot summer roses in bloom

you intoxicates me

 with your scent of love

 

like thorns on a rose

love protects the beauty

inside the heart

 

one without heart

 like a rose without scent

has no poetry

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MERMAID

fucked

a million times

by

someone who never

loved

her

what did she become

living with a devil-man

lust

was all he

knew

spent his money

on his

obsessions

wish she had listened

to her

intuitions

now she is

a

mermaid

living in the

sea

sleeping on a

bed of pearls

drinking lotus

tea

DANCING IN BOLLYWOOD

I am a dreamer

and I imagine it’s you

have I gone insane

 

he talks about love

is he thinking of me

or some beautiful

young thing

 

thirty years in hell

stripping away all my youth

true love is timeless

 

funny how we dream

self preservation

dancing in Bollywood

 

 

 

 

NAGA LAND

dreaming i was

choking

inside a

murky aquarium

i learned to

adapt

breathing

unworldly air

my mind relaxed

there must  be some

naga blood

flowing through my

veins

i saw the ganges river

milky white

boulder’s of emeralds

rubies

topaz

glistening in the

light

did i cross the

river

over the triple

gem

or did i trip and

fall

fall

fall

fall

fall

fall

in

 

 

FINE WINE

 

*

Don’t worry

i am kind

the kind that loves

loves to relax

all day

*

I’m not

beautiful

or young

maybe I’m

not the one

but I will hold you

in my arms

and laugh at all

your  charms

love

can do it all

so don’t worry

baby

everything

will be

fine

fine

fine

 

 

 

 

RAMBLINGS OF A ROMANTIC

i’ve been dead

for so long

walking this earth

like a zombie-slave

digging my grave

 

to find love

is so rare

like a pearl

in the paw

of a bear

 

i gave up

thinking

it’s not real

just mother

natures

way

of

sealing the deal

 

if i ever fall

in love again

it better be real

 

oh, samsara…you make me feel

unreal…

loves magnetic force

vibrating

me off course

unworldly love

that

created

the universe….

 

the primal

essence

of your sweat

anointing

my body

in

heat

my

lips

swelling

with desire

melting like honey

on fire

 

only love

can

do

this

to me

 

otherwise

it will not be

 

may it erase

all the pain

for

you and me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THERE IS A MAN

are

you the one

sweet and juicy

are you the one

sensitive and smart

are you the one

kind and gentle

my heart is beating

i hear yours too

are you my prince

you deserve a princess

you are so sweet

 and romantic

is it the heat

i feel your heat

is it you

i love your mind

is it me

you are a lover

it’s been so long

karma is weird

i don’t know

who i am

will i find

myself in

you

THE FLY

he

 let a fly in

the fucking fly

the fucker let in

i wanted to kill him

and so i did

but the other fucker

is still alive

fucking around

like a dirty

fly

 

i

let the fly

into my life

why

i felt sorry

for him

my house feels

so dirty

when he’s here

when he’s gone

i burn sage

 

CAN’T STAND IT

so

much in love

with love

my heart aches

so little time left

so much love

so much love so much love

so many loveless

so much pain

here i am

i want to

fall in love

to fall in love

to fall in love

to fall in love

to fall

in  love

again

 

where are you

the one

i must fall in love with

what are you waiting for

i can’t stand it much

longer

WANTING

i want to be in love

i want to be in love

i want to be in love

i want to be in love

i want to be in love i want to be in love

i want to be in tlove

want to be in love

i want to be in love

i want to be in love

i ewnat to neb in love

i want tone in love

i want tone in love

i want to be in love

i want to be in love

wan t o be in love

oi want to be in love

i want be in love

i want tot be in love inna t to be in tlove

i want to be in ove

i want to be involve i want to be inlove

i want be in tolove

i want to be in love i wanton be inlove

iwnant tone intolove

want to be in love

want to be lin love

i want to be in love

i want tone in love

i want tomb in love

i want tone in love

i want to be in love

i want to be involve

i want to be in love

i want to be in love

i want to be in love

i want tone in love

want tone in love

i want tone in love

i want to be innlove

i want to be in love

i want too be in love

i want tote in love

want to be involve i want to be in tone

i want to be involve iwqnt to bebnin love

i want tot be inmlove

i want to be in love

i wan t to be in love

want to be in lobe

i want to be in love

i want tot be in love i want o weber in love

i want to be in olive e

i want to be in love

i want to be in love

i want to be inmlove

i want to be in love i want to be in love

i want tone in love

i want to be innlov e

i want to be inlove

want to be in love

i want to be in love

i want to be in love

i want to be in love

i want ro be in tlove

i want to be in love

i want to be in love

i want to be in love i want too be in love i want to be in love i want to be in love

i want to be in love

i want to be in love

want tot be in love

want to be in love

i want tone in love

i want to be in love

love to be inmlove

i want to be in love

i want to be inlove

i want to be inlove

imwant tone inlove

i want to be in  love i want tone in love

iwqnt o the inlove

i want to be in love

want tomb inlove

i want to be inlove

i want tone in love

iwqnt to be inlove’

i wnnq be in love i wqnnnq be in love

i wanna be in love

i wqnnnq be in love

i wanna be involve

to be in love

not wanting

DEEP

i never met anyone

with deep enough love

only deep inside the flesh

blind to my heart ache

Sometimes i feel

like i am

the only one real

forcing me to see

myself

as love to love me

all I wanted  was

to know

the truth

of this life

why so many gate keepers

for a heart

that’s free

THE LEMON SLUT SUTRA

 

 

sucking and slurping lemon

they watched with distain

as the juice dripped down her chin

and her lips in pain

why did she eat this lemon ?

it wasn’t for fame

they thought she was deluded

or was she insane ?

she only wanted the truth

they wanted her head

so she let them have their way

like the men in her bed

 

 

 

 

 

PONDERING

 

 

ha ha ha

he made me laugh so hard

gave me easy things
to do

but the easy became
difficult
and the laughter
pain

now i sit here
free from
his laughter
and ramblings

drunk on
the junk
of my wild
horse
mind

pondering
memories
of

my guru

 

 

 

 

UTOPIA

rosewater on face
milk with honey
this is love
drizzle the mid-east
with opium
drop flower bombs
rose petals and lotus blossoms
intoxicate
blow their minds
blast the air with

love
the only weapon
left unused
nothing else worked
nothing else exists

love is life
life is love
life is a lover

or is this the ramblings
of a crazy

zit

(2017)

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE POETIC END

 

the dry snow slides between the yellow sky

each flake streaming down a copper straw

the wind sifts and becomes a misty air

blowing against the copper straws

clanging

clanging

millions and zillions

copper straws hanging from

nowhere everywhere

stars pollinate the earth

liquid flowers flow

nothing left

but a smooth glass earth

and a blue smoke swirling

inside it

in the beginning

god created the heavens

and the earth

in the ending

god pulled his plug

(1967)

 

 

 

 

 

TIME

 

the rocks that rumble silently are mine

earth sounds i hear beat rolls across my room

i scratch the beat  that’s dead created time

and weave into this solid mass time loom

rock is the photograph of times ruin

continuation clings like a disease

yet the living sleep inside a tomb

entertaining themselves with memories

winding antique clocks under christmas trees

ignorant of timeless and flawless days

writing diaries and painting the seas

chiseling emotions from time stained clays

and i pity us, if we too follow

these blind hypocrites  in time they wallow

(1967)